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是末日?還是重生?(六)福智廣論班學員

生死無懼,只因有你

多年前,柳書嶺和曾玉芬結婚,玉芬是一個非常善良的人,夫妻倆自詡是小小人物,沒有遠大志向,結婚時立下兩個人生目標:一是追求家庭和樂幸福,二是要做大善事,沒有能力也要做小善事,這樣就滿足了。第二年孩子出生了,夫妻倆沉浸在幸福的家庭氛圍,第一個人生目標似乎已達成了。

為了要讓這個家庭更幸福,書嶺更努力上班,常常到半夜才回家,同事笑他是無敵鐵金鋼、勇伯,玉芬不但努力工作,也開始參與一些公益活動,並於2004年加入福智廣論研討班,不忘第二個人生目標──行善。

 

幸福大逆轉

2009年三月,玉芬常常沒有原因的跌倒,看很多醫生和檢查,都找不到原因,隨著病情的惡化,右腳的力量越來越差,奔走醫院三個多月後,台北榮總確定診斷玉芬罹患的是運動神經元退化疾病。

書嶺難過得不知該如何是好,玉芬雖然非常難過,卻沒有被這個噩耗擊倒,她請先生回家把師父(福智團體創辦人──常老和尚)的錄音帶和廣論、經本等帶來醫院,她要把握剩餘的每一秒鐘的學習。除了更用功聽廣論,她經常是一早起來就為醫院的病患、醫療團隊和自己的病障祈福,希望大家身心安康、快樂;而且,玉芬每天用力地對醫生微笑,因為自己生病雖然很苦,可是醫生照顧病人也很辛苦!

接下來她快速辭掉工作,因為她要把剩下的時間服務人群以及更認真學習善法。玉芬覺得現在失業的人很多,越早把工作辭掉,別人就有機會找到工作。

 

行善大作戰

玉芬也為所剩不多的生命開始規劃做義工──依自己的體力,從能做的做起。七月,玉芬勇敢地拄著拐杖到根本道場做義工,拔草。

八、九月,玉芬拐杖已經不管用了,但是她還是很開心到園區做義工──用雙手拿耙子扒草,她說:我的手還很有力氣,別把我當病人喔。不但如此,她還坐輪椅參加七天的佛七。

十一、二月,玉芬的手能做的事更少了,她轉到鳳山寺的工程組,坐門口看守當時經常失竊的工具間,她說:我還有聲音,還有身體,我還可以做……雖然四肢只剩下左手能動,但是她依然堅持著服務人群。

2009年的祈願法會,玉芬當義工發祈願卡,看到很多人供養,玉芬也將最心愛的結婚鑽戒和寶石,供養給三寶,玉芬說:我供養的是一顆永恆的真心。因為腰背無力,玉芬歪斜地坐在輪椅上,她把手托在桌上,認真的發每一張祈願卡片,並且用力地說:「祝你的善願都能成辦!」雖然音量很小,學員聽不太清楚,但那卻是她用力嘶吼的聲量,就這樣,每天從早到傍晚,做了六天,書嶺說:她才是真的無敵鐵金鋼。

緊接著2010年四月的皈依法會,玉芬連呼吸力量也沒了,話也說不出口,玉芬戴著呼吸器到新竹鳳山寺向組長請假,但她還是隨喜大家可以當義工。

八月中旬,新竹教室舉辦青年生命成長營,營隊安排書嶺上台分享玉芬的生命故事,這次,躺在輪椅上的玉芬,又穿上了最珍愛、最莊嚴的黃背心,再次當上義工。隨著手、腳漸漸無力不能使用,玉芬每次都說:「死時任何東西都帶不走,就不要了吧!」然後很高興地說:「師父講的我都有做到!」

 

我都做到了

玉芬很堅持每周三的廣論課,她說,別人看到她病到這樣子還來上課,可以策發他們的意樂!同時她認為去上課也是承事師長,讓廣論班可以延續下去,讓教法住世!她想到師父當年講廣論,講一講就剩下一個人的情形,她說:「這種情形不能再發生了!」也有人建議她用skype上課,她說,如果大家都用skype上課,久而久之,廣論研討班就沒有了……有時書嶺想到要帶一個病人出門是多麼的辛苦,就會說:「今天不要去上課好不好?」但玉芬總是很堅持。每次上課回來,書嶺都很高興地跟她說:「我很勇敢,我又再一次完成妳跟師父的心願。」有一次如證法師問玉芬:妳有沒有更努力學廣論?玉芬很肯定回答:有。如證法師說:這樣,我覺得妳就沒有失去甚麼了。

問玉芬最怕什麼?她說:「最怕等不到上師來台聽到上師的開示。」她是如此心心念念地依止著師長,她的行誼讓周圍的人都深受感動、啟發!

曾玉芬師姐以她生死無懼的形象,在2010年十月十六日當天來到林口體育場參加憶師恩法會,在全場掌聲不息的悸動中刻畫下勇者的典範。隨後,十月二十日晚上九時多,結束她璀燦而短暫的一生。逝者已矣,留下的行誼將在每個人的記憶中發酵……

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